Deep Listening: Uncovering the Values That Guide You
Have you ever stopped to consider what truly drives your actions? Beyond simply wanting to achieve a goal, there are deeper layers of values that shape our behaviour. These values, often hidden beneath the surface, significantly impact our interactions and, more specifically, our listening skills.
This post will explore the different types of values and how they relate to the art of effective listening.
1. Outcome Values: What You Want to Have
These are the tangible, measurable goals we strive for. Think of them as the “fruits” of our efforts. In the context of listening, these might include:
- Building stronger relationships
- Fostering trust and connection
- Creating a safe and supportive environment for open communication
2. Behavioral Values: What You Need to Do
These values guide our actions and habits. They are the “how” of achieving our outcomes. Effective listening behaviours might include:
- Practicing active listening techniques (e.g., paraphrasing, summarising)
- Asking clarifying questions
- Showing genuine empathy and understanding
- Prioritising listening over talking
3. Belief Values: What You Need to Think
These are the underlying beliefs and mindsets that shape our perspectives. They are the “why” behind our behaviours. Examples in the context of listening could be:
- Believing that everyone has valuable insights to share
- Recognising the power of silence and observation
- Understanding that true listening requires empathy and respect
4. Character Values: Who You Want to Be
These values define our character and shape our identity. They are the core principles that guide our interactions. In the context of listening, these might include:
- Honesty and integrity
- Authenticity and genuineness
- Compassion and empathy
- Respect for others and their perspectives
5. Greater Purpose Values: Why
These are the deepest values, providing meaning and purpose to our actions. They are the “why” behind the “why.” Examples in the context of listening might include:
- Contributing to the well-being of others
- Fostering understanding and connection in the world
- Creating a more compassionate and empathetic society
Unveiling the Iceberg:
Think of these values as layers of an iceberg. Outcome Values are visible above the surface, while Greater Purpose Values reside deep below. Understanding these different layers is crucial for developing strong listening skills.
By consciously aligning our actions with our values, we can become more mindful listeners, build deeper connections, and cultivate more meaningful relationships.
This post provides a brief overview. For a more in-depth exploration of each value type, please refer to further blogs or contact us re our Integrated Values Iceberg© workshop.
I hope this blog post helps you gain a deeper understanding of the role values play in effective listening.
