The Gap Between Your Intentions and Your Actions
How often have you made a commitment to do things differently and failed? Do you keep your New Year’s resolutions?
We make commitments because they feel good. It seems like it will happen, but most of the time we end up reverting back to our old behaviours once the initial motivation wears off. That’s a shame because the real measure of genuine change is whether it lasts.
Short-term, superficial change is easy. You constantly adapt your behaviour depending on the situation. For example, how do you behave when you meet new people? Does your behaviour change around your boss? There is no point in using a short period of time to measure change. The real measure is whether the change lasts and becomes the new normal, even under pressure. Pressure brings out your instinctive, natural, unconscious reactions.
The Gap Between Conscious Decisions and Unconscious Priorities
There’s a reason you fail to follow through and deliver on your commitments. It has to do with the gap between your conscious decisions and unconscious priorities.
Decisions are conscious. You think about it, make a decision, and feel like you will change. The problem is, according to neuroscientists, a lot of your behaviour is driven by the unconscious.
We like to think our conscious decisions are in control or “driving the bus,” but that’s not the case. A decision made at a conscious level won’t change your behaviour unless it’s supported at the unconscious level.
In the case of deciding to be different so you can support the people you care about in the moments that matter, just reading about the R.E.O.S.T.A.R. process© in my book “Listening” and deciding to do things differently won’t be enough. If you want to follow through, you need to change at an unconscious level, and that means preparing for the opportunity by using the Integrated Values Iceberg© first.
The Power of Unconscious Change
It’s a big statement, but this model has the power to change your life. It can help you change anything. Instead of making temporary decisions, you will learn to work at a deeper, neurological level to create a permanent and sustained change. It will help you redefine the things that matter most at the deepest levels of your unconscious, and because you are making decisions to change at a neurological level, they will have the power to create the outcome you are looking for.